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Post by ally on Jul 6, 2011 11:00:16 GMT -5
A’Albiel wasn’t usually frightened, not easily anyway, but this time she was. She was scared of Castiel. Her brother, someone who had been like a Father to her, and it made her upset. More then upset it made her….regretting the fact that she wasn’t able to help him when he did what he did. He could feel his pain, hurt, and anger at everyone. She could see how it was all affecting him deeply and she wanted to help him past that more then ever. A’Albiel was a healer, and that didn’t just mean physical wounds, but…. She knew he would never let her get close to him in that sense. She knew that what he was doing to himself…was killing himself, his spirit and what he used to be.
A’Albiel decided she would go visit her favorite place, the garden. She had to….it was something that she was willing to try, to see if she can talk to him, talk him out of what he was doing. His whole goal for this was freedom, and now it seemed he was bossing everyone around, something HE didn’t want for them. The whole mission had gotten lost. At least, A’Albiel thought so. It saddened her. It saddened her that her brothers were STILL fighting, and STILL starting wars and not living in Peace. She knew that it was her turn to help this matter, but she didn’t know how. She knew she was to be a sacrifice for God, the REAL God, but she didn’t understand how or when or why.
A’Albiel sighed as she went to the Garden. It had changed. It wasn’t what it used to be, and she didn’t see Joshua attending it. Where was he these days? He was the one who had told her that she would be a sacrifice in all this, and now he was gone. Perhaps hiding from Castiel or worse…Perhaps Castiel destroyed him? A’Albiel HAD to try and speak to Castiel about all this. Perhaps he would listen to her. Some of the angles had. She was more then just a ‘child’ angel to some. Although she knew Castiel and Gabriel probably thought of her as their little sister even still. She WAS the youngest angel after all, and the only angel with emotions. When she had found out why she had these emotions, it made her sad. She didn’t want to leave her brothers and sisters, but she knew someday she would have to. For a while she hid from them, because she didn’t want to get close to them and then have to leave, but now…things were just out of hand. She had to do something, even if it meant her dying.
She walked around the Garden and sighed. She started to pray, “Father, if your still there….please help us,” she whispered. “I do not understand what Castiel’s goal is with all of this but I know its not what you wanted….nor what we wanted,” she whispered. “I just wish for his safety, and I know the souls might…. Be too strong for him,” she said quietly. “I wish to help him Father, somehow….” She said. “Though I do not know how to do that now, but…everyone is frightened of him, at least, some that I know…” she sighed. “Please Father, help him see what he is doing to Heaven…please…” she said tearfully.
She looked up and of course got no answer. Now was the time she figured she can try and speak with Castiel. She closed her eyes once more, “Castiel,” she said softly. “Its me, A’Albiel,” she said. “Your…little sister….” She whispered reminding him. “I know your not one of us now but…you always will be in my heart,” she said a bit tearful. “Please come talk to me brother,” she said. “I will not hurt you in anyway, I just wish to speak to you,” she said.
She knew it was dangerous and could possibly destroy her, but she didn’t care. She HAD to try. She HAD to convince him of his ways, although….she knew he wouldn’t listen because Dean had already tried that. Still though…it was something she HAD to do. She looked up waiting for him to come, hoping he would.
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Post by castiel on Jul 6, 2011 12:38:57 GMT -5
 || C A S T I E L ||
- - It's more than a feeling[/font] [Lyrics Boston - More Than A Feeling.]
Castiel wandered the garden, he would know at least there was someone who could possibly understand the situation he was placed in. He wanted someone to at least, as powerful as he, to defend him as well be on his side. People need to understand this, he would think to himself, that he could not help it. He was put down from the beginning, cast away and even his own powers got rid of. He was brought back previously but, by whom?
That he truly never knew, he thought maybe it was fate. It was fate for this.
All of this and he must run accordingly. "A'Albiel?" He appeared near her, "did you need help?" he would never mistreat someone he thought as great. She was indeed wonderful, she was always kind to him but, how would she think now? Would this change his views upon her?
He stared at her already sensing what the problem was so he sighed, "I did this for us, A'Albiel. You're a good friend, I know you as that. I need your help, I do. You want power do you not?" His grin planted upon his face was not very convincing. He did not seem like the ol' Cas. The one that would help Dean, remain loyal and help Dean do anything that would save him from the mess he began.
He was a changed one, changed indeed and he faced this decision. He faced it all by himself and quite frankly, he was sick of it. No one wanted seen this as a great thing, he always feared that. He always feared the betrayal but, by now he was used to it. He was used to being frowned upon, being useless and he faced it just like anyone else.
He stared at the scenery did it fit the occasion? It was indeed beautiful but, Castiel doubted that it did not match this at all, he was already half-expected A'Albiel to yell at him or to point the blame at him. He was already prepared for this.
He was prepared to be treated in a way that again, he would be pushed aside. He raised his eyebrow now, thinking to himself if he should already walk away or just try and talk this with her.
He never wanted to disappoint his good friend but, as he feared he already did.
He disappointed a lot, including her and Gabriel.
'It's for them' he repeated to himself.[/center] |
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Post by ally on Jul 6, 2011 14:52:34 GMT -5
A’Albiel turned as she heard her name. Castiel. It was Castiel. She took a breath. She hadn’t seen him since this whole thing happened, and she knew WHAT happened and she really wanted to chew Dean Winchester out, but she knew that he would never listen to her. “Castiel…” she whispered seeing him there. She bowed to him, since well..he WAS technically a God now. Maybe not…HER God, but he considered himself one and she didn’t exactly want to be tortured or killed. She looked at him for a moment. Hurt, there was a lot of hurt in his eyes and pain. She wished she could take that from him, but she knew she couldn’t. He wouldn’t let her.
As he began to speak to her, she trembled a little. She tried not to show it but she was pretty sure that she did. Power….it was about power. The souls…what they were doing to him. “Castiel…” she gulped finding the right words, “I love you Castiel, you know that,” she said. “I have all the power I need….” She said to him. She wasn’t sure how to answer him without hurting him. “I have extra powers, remember…my…sacrifice?” she asked wondering now if her sacrifice would be to help him somehow. He seemed to be everyone’s enemy.
“Castiel I…came to speak to you, I know you must think I will…judge you for this…or….look at you in a disappointed way but that is not why I’m here…” she said softly. She placed a hand on his cheek, “I have…always been close with you and Gabriel and to have you two….againts each other hurts me,” she whispered, “If you are against each other that is….I’m not sure if you spoke to him or not…” she said. “Castiel I want to help you,” she said softly to him. “I…. know what happened with Dean and Sam, and I’m sorry, I….know how painful that must have been,” she explained gently.
“I wanted to yell at Dean myself, I would have if I had seen him,” she said with a sigh. “He was not kind to you at all, and you are STILL his family, I’m sure they want to help you,” she said. “He was in pain too, from loosing Lisa and Ben…and now you…” she said. “He is grieving…” she told him, “At least I…assume he is since I haven’t seen him…” she said with a sigh, “But you are too Castiel, I can feel it….and…I want to help,” she said. “I did not come here to judge you, not the way the others did, not the way Balthazar….” She sighed. “Please bring Balthazar back Castiel…..please….” she said tearfully, “He did not mean harm….and he is my big brother,” she said softly. “He was trying to do what he thought was right,” she said. “Even if it was wrong…”
She shook her head, “Please do not think I am judging you for I am not, but I….do want to help you Castiel, as I said, I love you…” she said. She looked up to him, “You were always there for me growing up and….you don’t know how much that means to me…” she hoped maybe her love would help things to click for Castiel though she knew they might not. Her eyes started to water as some of her emotions showed that she really meant it. Maybe, she hoped this was what he needed. He was not the Castiel she grew up with. He had changed and there was so much hurt within him. It scared her.
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Post by castiel on Jul 6, 2011 17:46:56 GMT -5
|| C A S T I E L || [/font] He looked at the woman, he could feel her sorrow and he only looked at the ground. "I - I know how this feels right now, really I do." he stared at her straight in the face without looking away from her eyes. "You have to understand me, got it?" He trusted her, he did. She was his sister and far much kind to him than Gabriel was. He might start an arguement but, he still never lost respect for her.
He knew what was happening to him, Castiel knew and he accepted it. He accepted it just as it was and he would not shake his head and say no to her. " He looked at the woman, she loved him. She trusted him and yet, he never felt he betrayed her. "This is my choice A'Albiel and i'm deciding to take it." His words to empty, so meaningless it's like he only had one option."Are you sure? There is so much more, don't you see?" His eyes lightened up as he mentioned it, he grinned to himself only thinking of the endless possibilities. Although, he never really knew how much he changed in other's eyes.
"You came here for Gabriel? Why?" He was puzzled now. Did she turn her back on him for Gabriel? He always knew this, he just did. She was doing this for Gabriel she was betraying him just like everyone did. He gently put her hand away from his face, "A'Albiel I can do this for myself." He glared at her now, he could not help it. Infact, he could not believe what he was hearing. She turned against him and he could feel himself becoming disappointed.
"You don't know Dean and Sam like I did!" His voice was harsh, he glared at her once again. "You never did, do you get it? I don't care if they ever talk to me again, that's their own problem. Do you see they doubted me. Everyone doubted me and now what, you are doing it too." He shook his head.
How could such a trusted person do that? How could she? Afterall, they were so close.
"Balthazar?" He began to laugh. "Really now? Don't you understand a word about betrayal? It means no, A'Albiel." The truth was he did think about it. He constantly did. Although, he felt anger he still wanted to talk to Balthazar.
"Help me with what?" Castiel looked at her, he really did not understand what she was saying, she was emotional and he could not understand her. He looked at her, he knew how he was always there for her and he just nodded. "I understand, I do. Does it really mean that much to you, really?" [/center] |
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Post by ally on Jul 7, 2011 0:16:41 GMT -5
A’Albiel listened to Castiel as he spoke, and when he spoke, he did not sound like the same person anymore. That saddened her more then anything. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him and she did, but no words came out. It sounded like he mostly wanted power. Power was the reason for everything. This kind of power could someday kill him, and it worried her. When Castiel started talking A’Albiel nodded, “I understand you Castiel at least, I’m trying to, you have to believe me with that,” she said softly.
She knew that Castiel would think she was questioning him and that worried her. She knew that’s what Sam and Dean did to him and he got upset about it. Of course, why shoudn’t he? Still…Castiel was close to her and she wanted to show him that she still cared for him deeply and wanted to help him. She loved him as a brother and wanted that back. “I know its your choice Cas,” she said softly. “I know there is more power, but I do not want it,” she said. “I am sure. If you take it, that is your decision, but mine is not to…” she said quietly.
“I didn’t come here FOR Gabriel,” she said, “I was just…saying that I wasn’t sure what his stand was on all this or if you two have spoken,” she said to him. “I’m not doing this FOR Gabriel Castiel, I’m doing this for myself, I wanted to talk to you, to understand your perspective on all this…” she said with a sigh. “I know you can do this for yourself, I just….want to help you,” she said hoping he would know that she was being completely honest with him.
“I know I don’t know Sam and Dean like you did, but I know they meant something to you,” She said quietly. “I know they were your family…why else would you have faught Anna to save Sam before?” she had known about that, she heard things from other angels. She heard how much Cas tried protecting them, and how he did everything for them. “You did EVERYTHING for them Castiel and for them to treat you the way they had, its…not right,” she said quietly.
“Yes Castiel, it would mean a lot to me if you brought him back,” she said softly to him. She sincerely hoped that he would. She sighed, “Balthazar had done much for me, as you did, and I would not wish to see either of you dead,” she said to him honestly. She placed a hand on his shoulder, “Castiel I…love you and I want you to know that, if you don’t have anyone in this world at all you have me,” she said quietly, “It isn’t because I’m scared, or because I will betray you later on, its because I love you,” she said. “I’m not just saying this because I’m scared,” she said again. “I will not harm you, and I will not allow anyone else to. I want to help you Castiel,” she said. “However, I will not allow harm to come to Garbriel either, you both meant so much to me growing up,” she said quietly, “I….would not want to see either of you perish,” she said honestly.
She sighed. She knew Castiel wouldn’t like the part about Gabriel and Baltahzar, but still… she meant what she said about Castiel. She would not allow anyone, ANYONE to harm him, including the Winchesters. She just had to figure out a way to stop all this. ALL of it. She had to get her brothers back, somehow. She looked at Castiel sadly. Nothing was the same anymore.
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Post by castiel on Jul 12, 2011 13:18:24 GMT -5
|| C A S T I E L || [/font] Castiel shook his head, he cannot believe what was happening. These people around him caring about him and not one believing how good this could be. He crossed his arms across his chest, "are you sure you understand? You know I can't even understand what is going on anymore." He looked around him and there he was standing there. He was looking at his friend, his good friend and all she did was tell him. He knew how much she cared about him , but he did not really care much about it. His personality changed and they must understand that with power this comes with it.
He laughed, "Of course A'Abliel I don't understand you, why don't you want power? We were rejected, hated and yet you still believe that we're still great?" He tilted his head. Castiel knew that the girl would not change her mind, she was truly wonderful when he knew her. Everything about her was great, her personality, the way she would help him. She truly was someone who would easily be trustworthy yet, Castiel just tossed the idea away.
He laughed, "Oh, I seriously thought Gabriel would come along and give me a lecture as well. You know, you two probably get along well." He looked towards the scenery, it was beautiful something truly to admire yet Castiel still stood here stubborn with his arms crossed and he would not give in.
Castiel chuckled, "exactly everything and yet, they go off like everything is alright. Everything is about them and they do not say a thank you, nothing. They just disrespect me, go off and do everything they want to." Castiel looked at her than shook his head, "I do not think so, that was before. We were close before and now well, things change don't they?"
"Balthazar." He repeated to himself and yet, he still felt that need that he wanted to talk to him. Castiel never knew why and that was all he could say. There was something there that was empty and Castiel looked at her and did not say another word about him. He took another glance around him and sighed, "I do not know if I could do that, A'Albiel." He looked at her and a smile was placed upon his face. "I know." He placed a hand on her shoulder, "I know how much I mean to you and i'm sorry that things have changed." Castiel knew that things were not the same anymore, not like they used to be.
Infact, Castiel missed the old times he truly did but, things were changing and so was Castiel.
.[/center] |
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Post by ally on Jul 12, 2011 17:29:27 GMT -5
A’Albiel looked at Casitel sadly. She would help him, but he HAD changed. It saddened her deeply. He wanted power more then anything and she wouldn’t agree to that. There was just no way. She couldn’t ask him to give her ANY power, and she knew what the souls were doing to him. They were messing with his brain, as Dean said. Its scared her. “I do understand Cas,” she said softly. “I’m…pretty sure…” she said. “You did what you thought was right, you DID what was right. Think of how things would have been if Raphael kept charge? He would have killed us all,” she said. “That scares me more then anything. I’m scared of him more then I ever would be of you,” she said. “I’m not scare of you Castiel, I love you, as you asked us to do,” she bowed to him.
She didn’t believe he was her Father, not the way she had with her other God, but she did believe he was now in charge, and she knew that he would smite her for not believing it. The way he changed was terrifying. She wondered what Gabriel would have thought of all this. She wondered what he was thinking now. “I still believe that we’re great,” she repeated, “I do Casitel because of what’s in our hearts,” she said pointing to his and hers. “I do not believe that is lost, I believe your intentions are good and nobel,” she whispered. “I was meant for something Castiel, a sacrifice…did you know that?” she asked. “I do not know what I am to sacrifice myself for….and truthfully it terrifies me, but now that your our leader I….feel almost a relief…” she said.
“ I thought Gabriel would lecture you as well, but he hasn’t, has he?” She smiled a little, “Maybe he understands how bad it actually got here,” she explained, “He understands what you went through and more….” She hoped she was right. “Gabriel went through a lot too, its why he left Heaven, remember?” she smiled a little. “I want to be close to you again Castiel, you are my brother and I love you, and for that, I love you as my new God as well,” she said to him gently. “I hope you can feel it in my heart how much I care for you,” she said. “You and I were close as brothers and sisters, and I….hope it can be that way again,” she said to him. “You shouldn’t have to be alone Castiel,” she told him. “I want to help everyone in this….even if it DOES mean a sacrifice of some sort…” she told him.
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Post by castiel on Jul 16, 2011 19:23:59 GMT -5
|| C A S T I E L || [/font] Castiel looked at A'Albiel. "Of course but, you should not say that about your brother." He nodded his head. He knew the power that he could've had and yet, it still didn't really click. Was Castiel looking to try and find himself? Was he just here to make others understand his power? Castiel still never knew but, he was quick to brush it off his shoulder that is for certain.
Castiel looked at the ground. What defined greatness exactly? What was becoming of him? He was emotional lately and he never understood why. He should not be, what were emotions? He should not know of them but, yet they still appeared and quickly went away as fast as they would show up. Castiel felt upset, he felt upset at himself and he questioned: What was A'Albiel saying to him? Was he upset that he betrayed a good friend? "I know my intentions are good. We're going to be us and truly does that not sound great?"
"Gabriel is always the first to lecture, you know that more than anything. "How bad? Exactly how bad is it now?" He raised his eyebrow now. He did not understand exactly what she was saying and yet, what was she talking about? Everything was good now and he found no reason for others not to felt pleased over this. "I am glad you feel that way." His eyes shifted away from her, it was almost like he did not want to accept it either. Was this Dean talking to him? Castiel was thinking. 'Castiel, don't you see? You're changing and everything around you is changing' Yet, he would shake his head and try to ignore this.
Castiel nodded. "You're a good friend and I trust you, I trust you need to speak with Balthazar?" Balthazar. The man who Castiel would seem not to appreciate yet, it was odd. He wanted to speak with him.[/center] |
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Post by ally on Jul 16, 2011 20:11:36 GMT -5
A’Albiel nodded, she knew she shouldn’t speak that way of Raphael, but it was the turht. She WAS scared of what he was doing and why. She was scared that Raphel would completely take charge and that they would all be Heaven’s slaves. Although it wasn’t much different now with Castiel in charge, he was killing those who were against him, and that worried her more then anything. “I am sorry brother, I will not speak of him in that way again,” she said softly.
“It…does sound great Castiel,” she said softly. She wanted him to know that he HAD family. That he had people who still believed in him, because she knew that he would have issues otherwise, if he didn’t’ already. She just missed the old Cas, the one that she grew up with, that taught her things, that was her big brother. He was so different now, he almost wasn’t the same angel anymore that she knew.
“I meant before you were leader, how bad it was getting before you became God,” she said quietly. “I think Gabriel understands maybe,” she wasn’t sure really. She hoped he did. She didn’t want anymore fighting, it was weighing her down. “I do wish to speak to Balthazar, but I know he is dead brother, it saddens me since he was a close friend to you as well,” she reminded him. Balthazar always was close with Castiel and it saddened her that Casitel had killed him. Without hesitation. She hoped that Castiel would be himself again soon. "What can I do to help you Castiel?" she asked softly.
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Post by castiel on Aug 2, 2011 15:30:21 GMT -5
|| C A S T I E L || [/font] Castiel looked around him, he was probably just as lost as she was. Power was something that was pretty new to him. All of this was getting to him and it changed him dramatically. He only nodded, he never knew why he would act this way. This definitely was not the old Cas well, as Dean would say. The old Cas would help someone out and of course be there for Dean throughout the way.
"It does." Castiel nodded once again, his eyes fixed on the ground. The green grass that seemed to be the right shade, it was covered with various colors of flowers. He missed everything, missed the trust that was placed upon him but, he could not think of that now. He knew this and this could be questioned. He knew this.
"It was, wasn't it?" Castiel smiled he felt proud. This was probably the opposite of what should be said, he knew that others thought differently and again it could be questioned if he thought this was bad news as well. "Gabriel knows this?" Castiel wondered. What did Gabriel exactly think? Was he proud or angry of Castiel? "Balthazar." Castiel agreed. He felt the need to speak to him again. He knew that it was probably going to be close to impossible. Balthazar. He had to talk to him again. He only looked at the floor, "I know." He found himself saying. He wasn't proud about this, he really wasn't. [/center] |
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