RUBY
DEMON.
I don't want to be a part of his sin I don't want to get lost in his world I'm not playing this game
Posts: 25
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Post by RUBY on Jul 8, 2011 19:31:29 GMT -5
 when the devil wants to dance with you ,YOU BETTER SAY NEVER [/color][/font] because a dance with the devil might last you forever[/color][/font] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/color][/center][/color][/font]
As she looked in the dingy mirror of her crappy hotel room, only a few doors down from where the brothers Winchester were staying, she examined her face carefully. It was funny that of all the bodies she had over the years that this one was the one she thought of as her body. She didn’t even think of her human body, which now rotted in a grave in the UK, as her body, only this dark eyed, raven haired meatsuit that Crowley had made sure she was brought back in. She knew exactly why too, it was not only the effect it had on her, reminding her of her betrayal and death, but also because of the effect it would have on one Sam Winchester.
She knew he was just down the way and if she could, if she had it in her power to, she’d spare him the pain of seeing her again, in this body especially, but not only would she not be able to stop herself from finding him, she was ordered to do so. Maybe he’d save her the heart breaking agony of an apology by ending her as soon as he saw her, or maybe, just maybe he’d be the one who could save her from the fate she found herself bound to.
She moved to the window of the room, waiting patiently for either Sam to leave the room alone or for Dean to go far enough away for her to feel safe approaching the younger Winchester. She knew to fear them both equally but if they were together when she tried to talk to Sam shed not even get one word out, Dean would have her dead for even looking at Sam.
Finally, it seemed that Dean had left long enough for her to feel comfortable that Sam would be alone long enough for her to talk to him. She paced back and forth in front of the room door a few times before finally steeling herself and walking out. As she moved down the walkway, toward Sam, she purposefully made sure to walk by his window, hoping he had the good sense to have it at least partially open, slowing her pace to look inside a moment. There were two reasons behind it, the first of course was to see him for the first time in almost three years (well to her it had been considerably longer but it was the hope of seeing him again that kept her going for the hundreds of years she spent in hell, as time worked differently there), the second was to give him a warning that she was there, an opportunity to react to her presence, whether it be to start an exorcism, set up a hasty devils trap, or meet her at the door with a salt loaded shot gun. So she gambled with her fate, betting on Sam’s sense of forgiveness, or at least his curiosity, as she looked into the room for those hazel eyes of his to look back out at her.
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Post by SAM JOHN WINCHESTER on Jul 17, 2011 23:06:39 GMT -5
Sam watched Dean leave, feeling both exhausted and yet content. The world was more or less back to where it was supposed to be. Well, okay, so he was struggling with all the memories he'd reacquired. However, some twisted part of him was glad his soul had suffered while his body had done horrible, unforgivable things. He may never be able to truly forgive himself, but at least part of him had suffered for the deeds the other part of him had done. The path to true redemption was still a long one.
The younger Winchester took a seat at the little table in the room where his beloved laptop was situated. He pulled up the files on the case he and Dean were currently working on. It looked like a simple salt and burn ghost haunting. Of course, things always appeared innocent upon first glance when, really, stuff was a whole lot more complicated. Damn, but he needed to stop getting so philosophical about this stuff. It just made him worry needlessly. The whole research vibe seemed to be lost on him, so Sam stopped trying to force himself to focus. Rubbing his eyes, he sighed again and relaxed in his chair.
His hands fell to the chair arms as his gaze wandered over the motel room. Green eyes locked on a very familiar gaze and Sam tensed automatically. Ruby. It was impossible, but there she was, peeking through the window hopefully. It was easy to recalled the day he and Dean had killed her. So, how the hell was she here? It didn't matter how, he'd kill her again. He moved quickly, getting out of his chair and stomping over to the window in two huge strides.
Sam opened the window and threw one long arm out, hand wrapping around her delicate throat. Anger sliced through him at that thought and his fingers squeezed. There was death in his gaze as he dragged her closer to him. "What the hell do you think you're doing alive? I should kill you, but it would probably prove fruitless." He glared at her and loosened his grip just slightly so that he didn't cut off her air supply. "So, what's your agenda this time? Lilith's dead and Lucifer is back where he belongs. You have a moments, at least, before Dean gets back. And he will kill you without hesitation." He was far too tired for this.
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RUBY
DEMON.
I don't want to be a part of his sin I don't want to get lost in his world I'm not playing this game
Posts: 25
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Post by RUBY on Jul 18, 2011 21:25:00 GMT -5
when the devil wants to dance with you ,YOU BETTER SAY NEVER [/color][/font] because a dance with the devil might last you forever[/color][/font] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/color][/center][/color][/font]
The really sad part is, her eyes softened at his words, looking into his. She could see the lines of worry, the sleepless nights, the exhaustion written all over him. It was like the time Dean had died only something worse, something set inside of him that was trying to claw its way out. She knew that because it happened to her too after her first trip into the pit, only with him he didn’t have the outlet she and Dean for that matter did, he didn’t have the choice to make the torture stop by picking up the torturer’s knife and dealing out pain in revenge. Sure the revenge was upon souls who hadn’t harmed her but it felt good still, hearing them scream for mercy for a change and not giving them any. She honestly suspected though that had Sam been given the choice he, like his father, would never have taken up the knife, that shame was reserved for Dean and her. His conscious was clear as far as hell was concerned, his soul was tortured needlessly. The part of her that cared for this man cried for him inwardly, wanting to reach out for him and hold him, take away his pain, and her eyes betrayed all of that.
“Oh Sam, I knew it would be bad but this.”
Her voice was laced with pity for him and a driving need to try to make him better. Reaching up a hand, she wrapped it around the wrist that held her throat, but it wasn’t to stop him from grasping her but to just make some sort of contact with him, let him know she was really there.
“Let me go, I’ll come inside, you can trap me if you want, hell you can exorcise me if you want, just….let me talk to you for just a little while first?”
Really, what she expected him to do was just start the exorcism right then and there and really he might be better off for it…but maybe, just maybe, he’d see her side of things if he would talk to her. Maybe she’d also be able to help too, I mean who knew what went on in hell better than a demon after all?
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Post by SAM JOHN WINCHESTER on Jul 19, 2011 23:08:08 GMT -5
Sam hated the pity he could hear in Ruby’s voice. Pity was not something he was interested in. At this point, he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear anything she had to say. He wanted her to go away, maybe just go back to Hell altogether. He even considered crushing her meatsuit’s throat, and then decided that that wasn’t entirely fair to the body. Although the body’s original inhabitant was probably long since gone and it more or less belonged to Ruby alone, it still felt wrong. Which only further irritated him.
The soft touch of her hand had him momentarily distracted remembering years ago when that touch had meant comfort. Now, it just reminded him of the biggest mistake in his life. First Ruby, and now Cas. It was almost like both sides were proving just how truly untrustworthy they were. The angel’s betrayal was still fresh. What he’d done to Sam was still an open wound. Why did everyone feel that it was okay to target him to get at his brother? Of course, he was conveniently forgetting that the demoness had used Dean to get to him.
Dean didn’t need a crippled brother he’d have to constantly keep an eye on; he needed someone he could trust to watch his back. Ruby’s presence was just a reminded to Sam that he was a failure. He had never redeemed himself, could never remove the sins from his soul. He couldn’t entirely blame her, although she’d had a hand in leading him down a wretched, broken path. It was on his shoulders alone that any of it had happened.
With all the mental turmoil going on in his head, Ruby’s words fell on deaf ears. When the haunted green gaze again focused on her, it was filled with disgust and pain. With an amount of force he hadn’t known he’d had, the Winchester threw the petite frame away from himself. Too angry to care about her safety, he slammed the window shut and closed the curtains. Moving quickly, he located a canister of rock salt in his bag and hurriedly lined both entrances to the motel room with it. In his hurry, he didn’t notice that the line in front of the door wasn’t properly finished. Continuing on, he found a marker and started drawing a devil’s trap on the ceiling above the door.
“Stay away from me, Ruby! I will exorcise you!” He’d memorized the words years ago out of necessity.
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RUBY
DEMON.
I don't want to be a part of his sin I don't want to get lost in his world I'm not playing this game
Posts: 25
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Post by RUBY on Jul 20, 2011 6:38:41 GMT -5
(sorry, no time to make it pretty)
She fell to an ungraceful landing with an “oomph” as he slammed the window shut. Now seeing exactly how much pain he was really in there was no way she could stay away, assignment or not. Getting up she dusted her hands off on her jeans, going to his door and knocking, speaking to him through the closed door.
“Five minuets Sam, three even, I just need to talk to you please?”
She felt the bruises on her throat swell up then heal with the help of her demonic blood, a gift of that deal she had made so many years ago. Pressing her cheek up against the door she listened for the sounds of him moving about the room, trying to figure out what he was doing in there.
“Tie me up, trap me Sammy, anything you want to make you feel safe. Hell start the exorcism right now because I am not going anywhere. I came back to help you and I can’t leave you alone like this, please let me help?”
She could rip the door from it’s hinges if she wanted to but the attention it would create might bring down mortal cops and that would not help the situation, so she simply stood there with her head up against the door. There were some truths in her life that were undeniable, one was that she was damned; the other was that without him the world no longer made any sense. The demon mocked her for her pitiful weakness but it too knew that this strength she gained from simply just being around him was something that it couldn’t deny. There was also now the fact that she knew he needed her. Of course he had Dean but there was only so much that his big brother could do for him, only so far that Dean could handle Sam, where Ruby could lock away part of herself behind cold black eyes of indifference and deal with what ever Sam had to do to help him get better. She had been on the receiving end of his temper before and while she was wary of it part of her honestly believed that he’d never really hurt her. Of course self deception when it came to Sam was her weakness and could probably kill her in a rage, or right now, and it would surprise her as much as it did when he held her and let Dean drive that knife into her before.
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Post by SAM JOHN WINCHESTER on Jul 21, 2011 23:41:56 GMT -5
He could hear her voice filtering through the door. The very sound of it damned him. Especially since a part of him wanted to give in and open the door; that part of him believed in her still. Which just made the man all the angrier. He couldn’t trust his own god damn instincts around her, because he didn’t know if it was the old addiction to demon blood talking or not. Either way, it didn’t matter. The woman outside the door had betrayed him. Not only that, but he’d betrayed his own brother because of the demoness. He still hated her for that. So angry was he that he accidentally messed up the devil’s trap and had to go find something to wash away his mistake.
That’s when Sam began to doubt his own thoughts. Ruby was a demon, certainly. Yet, he couldn’t blame her for everything. Hadn’t his father told Dean he’d have to kill him one day? Hadn’t he been cursed by Azazel’s blood when he had been six months old? It was all his own fault for not fighting his fate hard enough. He had brought this upon himself. He paused in his furious scrubbing of the ceiling. Even so, he had reasons to be angry at her. The blame may have been shared between them; her for leading him on, and him for believing a demon over his own flesh and blood.
“You can’t help me. Not when you’ve already destroyed me.” Suddenly his anger over cam him and he opened the door. “When I look at you, I see a monster that preys on the grieving. You twist people into becoming monsters themselves. Well, you succeeded. I am as damned as you, Ruby. So, excuse me if I’d rather not see your face.”
Just looked at her made Sam want to hurt her, to drive her away from him. “What gives you the right to ask me to listen to you? Your words are all lies. Do not push me, or I will destroy you. I was Lucifer’s play thing for over a hundred years, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t paying attention.” Hell burned in his mind as he leaned closer to her. “I’m no Alistair, but I’m sure I could make you scream.”
Sam met her gaze coldly. “Disappear, Ruby.”
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RUBY
DEMON.
I don't want to be a part of his sin I don't want to get lost in his world I'm not playing this game
Posts: 25
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Post by RUBY on Jul 22, 2011 22:13:43 GMT -5
 when the devil wants to dance with you ,YOU BETTER SAY NEVER [/color][/font] because a dance with the devil might last you forever[/color][/font] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/color][/center][/color][/font] Her eyes met his and she saw the fury there, the anger that was not only directed at her but at himself as well. She was a professional when it came to human behavior and even though Sam was one person who could baffle her but she knew this side of him too well. Anger was like venom in his veins, it clouded his judgment, closed his heart, turned off his ability to reason, and brought out the monster in him. She’d been on the receiving end of his anger before, it would rise up like an inferno and burn all those around him, then that quickly be gone leaving behind Sam who would sometimes have no clue how to deal with what he had just done. So she now had a choice, a few actually. The first was she could prod the beast, poke at it with words so cruel and heartless, make him more enraged just to see how far he’d take it. Another would be to stand her ground knowing he’d give into that anger, remind him he had fed her to Alistair once before and how she had done that willingly for him. The final choice would be to walk away, let Dean deal with Sam’s anger, let his brother be on the receiving end of the fury. Here is the one thing, even with all the honest emotions she had for Sam, she was still a demon and wanted to make sure the choice she made would benefit her long run. Ruby then decided to gamble on Sam’s past feelings for her, his capacity for pity, his guilt, and the fact that he wouldn’t kill her. There was also the added benefit of the fact she could make it seem to Dean like her intentions were to help Sam, keep Dean from killing her and gain and upper hand with him, something to use against the elder Winchester. She desperately needed an advantage in this situation so she had to gamble a little. If it all paid off she’d not only have Sam in her arms again but she might have earned a little understanding, a little forgiveness, a little empathy, and maybe a way into his world again. So she stood her ground, not leaving as his slight as he commanded her to. “Sam, I’m not going anywhere. I didn’t come back from Hell to walk away in defeat from the reason I came back.” Her voice quivered though, in part her own attempt at a subtle of trying to reach out to him to beg him in her tone of voice to not harm her, but also so that if he did, when he thought back to this moment he remembered that tone. She knew that guilt would ensure that he’d start to trust her in the future because of it and then she could begin to ensure his safety again. Anything to make sure he was safe, it didn’t matter the way to do it, only the end result. She’d take what ever pain he wanted to dish to her gratefully, just as long as he was in this would and alive. “You fed me to Alistair once already Sammy, you really think you can out do him? Did you learn what your brother did while in Hell?” Her words carefully chosen to illicit a response of either enraging him further or backing him down, either way she was ready. template by LISA@GBBS, lyrics by immortal technique CREDITRAWRR! NOTES[/color][/font][/RIGHT] |
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Post by SAM JOHN WINCHESTER on Jul 30, 2011 0:11:24 GMT -5
The reason she’d come back? Was she honestly insinuating that the reason she had come back was him? That was both ridiculous and insulting of her. Did she think he didn’t know? Lucifer had told his soul so many cruel things. Why he was more willing to believe the angel over the demoness, he wasn’t sure. Possibly, because he had genuinely trusted and believed in Ruby, whereas his relationship with Lucifer had always held revulsion on his part. She had lied to him, used him…In some ways she was as much at fault for Lucifer’s revival as he was. Him and her.
There was no humor in his laughter. “Out do him? I learned more than my brother did, I promise. Almost two centuries, Ruby, as Lucifer’s play thing. You tend to pick things up as you die over and over without end. But I suppose you’re right. I can’t outdo him.” Bitterness seeped into his tone, remembering that Dean got a choice. That bitterness turned to bleak sorrow. “I don’t think I could pick up the knife now. I’m too will trained in the art of dying.”
He shook his head, exhausting warring with anger. “Say what you’ve got to say, but don’t expect any pity.” When he looked at her again, his jaw was clenched. “You mean nothing to me, Ruby.” He knew he could never measure up to Dean, even in Hell. All he’d done was curl up and die for two hundred years. Although, he was quite certain Dean would disagree with him, it felt shameful for him to not have brought anything back from Hell other than the knowledge that he was very good at letting others carve up his flesh.
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RUBY
DEMON.
I don't want to be a part of his sin I don't want to get lost in his world I'm not playing this game
Posts: 25
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Post by RUBY on Jul 31, 2011 23:29:03 GMT -5
when the devil wants to dance with you ,YOU BETTER SAY NEVER [/color][/font] because a dance with the devil might last you forever[/color][/font] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/color][/center][/color][/font] She took a deep breath, trembling in his hold, looking into his eyes so he could read the truth in hers. His words cut her deeply and like a piece of fresh wood that had been rubbed to many times with sandpaper, still green with sap, her eyes welled up with tears, then falling to her cheeks. “It doesn’t matter what you say Sam, you still mean everything to me. I…I love you now like I loved you then. I’m sorry for what I did, I’m sorry that I lied to you, I didn’t have any other choice or I wouldn’t have. So there is the truth Sam, hate me, toss me out, I’m not giving up on you, on us, that easily.” She could finally take it no more; reaching up a hand she carefully ran it through his hair, a gentle touch to counteract his violent hold, just some sort of tender contact with him to try to coax her lover from the monster before her. She knew he was in there somewhere, that sweet man, who held her in the night, caressed her bare neck with kisses, wrapped himself around her and held her to him. The one who looked past her black eyes and all the dark deeds she had done over the centuries and found the woman she was below. All she wanted was to see a glimmer of him in there again so she knew that the pain she had went though was worth it. template by LISA@GBBS, lyrics by immortal technique CREDITRAWRR! NOTES[/color][/font][/RIGHT] |
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Post by SAM JOHN WINCHESTER on Aug 7, 2011 1:06:23 GMT -5
Regret stung Sam like a knife to the heart. When Ruby's hand ran through his hair, it reminded him of their time together. Her tears pained Sam, but it was her words that really hit him. Puzzled uncertainty filled his gaze, replacing the hatred and the anger. "This isn't fair, Ruby. You betrayed me. I...I let Dean kill you. I was happy with your death." Sam released her, green eyes falling from her face. "You mean nothing to me. I said that, but if it were true, I wouldn't have gotten so angry. You make me angry, Ruby. And, right now, I don't think it's healthy for me to get worked up."
Just as quickly as the rage had come, it was gone. In its place, there was nothing except regret and the desperation of a man who couldn't escape his past. Closing his eyes, Sam pulled away from the demoness. He stumbled and fell, tripping over something he'd dropped in his frantic haste just moments earlier. "I get it, now. You're just another memory of hell. Lucifer used to do this, you know. Give me what I wanted and then tear it apart in front of my eyes. He tore into me looking like you, this body, a couple of times. NOt that you would care. Yo're not even real. Which means, you really are nothing to me."
On some level, Sam knew he wasn't making sense anymore. But he could smell burning flesh, could hear Lucifer laughing at him. He hit the floor with a low groan of agony. Realizing he'd given his torturer what he wanted, he clenched his jaw even as Lucifer slowly removed his heart, breaking ribs to do so. Everything that he though he had experienced, the past year, had been a lie. As the angel crushed his heart, Sam gave up. He was never getting out, and he needed to stop beliving all the lies, all the illusions.
In the motel room, Sam had gone rigid for brief moment as his body strained against some remembered torture. He went slack, finally, the lines disappearing from his face and making him look younger. One word escaped him and one word only. The most beloved word in Sam's vocabulary since h'd first learned how to talk and the first person he'd turn to help at any age.
"Dean."
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RUBY
DEMON.
I don't want to be a part of his sin I don't want to get lost in his world I'm not playing this game
Posts: 25
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Post by RUBY on Aug 7, 2011 1:39:15 GMT -5
when the devil wants to dance with you ,YOU BETTER SAY NEVER [/color][/font] because a dance with the devil might last you forever[/color][/font] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/color][/center][/color][/font] As he fell she moved to his side, no fear for herself, only for him. Let Dean come and find them, let him kill her again, as long as Sam was okay she’d accept any fate. One hand again seeking out his hair, gently running it through, softly feeling his locks between her fingers, the other caressing his cheek gently. When it was Dean’s name that came to his lips it was like a dagger through her heart, swallowing back un-cried tears she just moved to gently lift his head into her lap, reminding herself that this was the price she had to pay for what she did. The pain he was going through she couldn’t take away but she felt it deep down inside of her and it was killing her because she knew this was all her fault. She should have died rather than help Lilith. “Sam, I am real. I am here. I am yours. Listen to the sound of my voice. Lucifer isn’t here, he can’t hurt you here, you are safe. Hold me, taste me, kill me….do what you will with me because I am yours.†She stopped, wrapping her arms around him and rocked him gently, not caring if the next words from his mouth were an exorcism or not. This was ripping out what little heart she had left; no pence could be a worse fate. “When you come back to me Sam, wake up fully, I’ll finish your devils trap for you, walk into it, and let you ask me any questions you want. For now though just rest, I’ll protect you from harm.†She would too, be it Lucifer or Michael who walked through that door, hell Cas himself, she’d gladly lay down her life to protect Sam against them. Of course the real question might be was she strong enough to live for him, she had already proved she could and would die for him. template by LISA@GBBS, lyrics by immortal technique CREDITRAWRR! NOTES |
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